How To: Take Over Antarctica

A revolution for the siege of the 21st century

This is the third article of the Antarctic Theories series. And please be warned, it’s for entertainment purposes only. Everything here is intended as a fictional fantasy!

Photo by Asael Peña on Unsplash

In my first article of this series, I talked about the Antarctic Treaty and the idea of giant crude oil reserves hiding under the ice, and that if it would have been possible to buy as real estate, Antarctica would be an insanely well-positioned grab given the current circumstances of climate change. Well, clearly there’s no action in that plan. But if an evil villain like Gru from Minions was very impatient, here is an immediate plan for him. Be warned, it’s criminal on every single level.

1. Think of this as a commercial whaling expedition. Have some corrupt billionaire see the financial merit in building a giant base/city/oil plant and invest, as part of a black market stock acquisition in your company.
2. Load up 37 container ships with construction supplies, military arsenal, drilling equipment, food rations, and everything in between a 50-year camping trip.
3. Make it to the strategic precious metal/petroleum hubs on Antarctica and immediately start construction of what will be a city, commercial drilling/mining plant, and active military base. Now you’ve broken practically all parts of the Antarctic Treaty.
4. Continue construction progress as the first citizens are invited to your exotic new nation. Once full economic scale to profit from climate change is reached, cash in on the million-dollar tickets as the Antarctic Airlines runway starts flooding in with newly arrived citizens.

Here is the key: no one can stop you.

Besides all the foreign and domestic threats that your efforts will receive, the only way to stop you is to break the Antarctic Treaty itself: to send military activity, let alone into the farthest and most brutal part of the planet, to take down your empire. Then, once the playing field is even (both sides broke the treaty), you declare Antarctica a nation of its own self-sustaining government, unleashing all military force necessary to defend your citizens.

Piece of cake right? It was a joke by the way.